Caliborn's Stories 13: Inside Out
by ASBusinessMagnet
Summary: Inside Out, as summarized by the Homestuck character Caliborn. Rated T for language and violence. (Also, a sneak peek at my own emotions.)
1. READ THIS

SOME OF YOU BLAMED ME. FOR PICKING UP A MOVIE FROM THIRTY YEARS AGO. THEREFORE, NOW I PICKED UP A MOVIE THAT IS THE HOT SHIT. SO YOU CAN CHEER AT IT. OR WHATEVER IT IS YOU DO WHEN YOU READ MY STORIES. WHICH ARE ONLY HERE TO TELL YOU THAT YOU SUCK. WHY ARE YOU READING THEM AND EN"JOY"ING THEM. I DON'T GET IT.

CALIBORN PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS.

INSIDE OUT.

WE OPEN UP WITH A HUMAN BABY. AND A BITCH THAT IS STARING AT HER. THIS BITCH IS WHAT WE CALL JOY. BUT JOY IS A COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE WORD. BECAUSE ALL SHE DOES. IS ANNOY ME. BUT NEVERTHELESS. OTHERS CALL HER JOY. FOR SOME REASON. EVEN THOUGH SHE IS MAKING ME FEEL THE OPPOSITE OF JOY. WHAT IS THE WORD? AH. ANNOYANCE.

SO, JOY CONTROLS THE HUMAN BABY. BUT TURNS OUT. SHE IS JOINED BY FOUR OF HER WORST ENEMIES. SADNESS. WHO ALWAYS CRIES ABOUT STUFF. FEAR. WHO IS THE FUCKING SENSIBLE ONE WHO DOESN'T ALLOW THE GROWING HUMAN BITCH GET INTO SHIT. DISGUST. WHO ALWAYS JUDGES EVERYTHING. AND ANGER. THE SO-CALLED "FLAMER TROLL" OF THE GANG. AND THE FIVE DO THIS. FOR AT LEAST ELEVEN YEARS. NOT LEAVING THE HUMAN BITCH ALONE. AND NOT LEAVING EACH OTHER ALONE.

THE HUMAN BITCH'S HUMAN PARENTS ARE ALSO IRRITATED TO NO END. AND THUS DECIDE TO PUT HER AWAY TO "SAN FRANCISCO." (AMERICA.) AS A PUNISHMENT FOR HER NOT BEING ABLE TO CONTROL THE EMOTIONS INSIDE HER HEAD. BUT THE EMOTIONS DON'T EVEN WANT TO STOP. AND JOY BEGINS COMMANDING STUPID STUFF. LIKE EATING VEGETABLE PIZZA. (WHICH DISGUST STOPS.) AND SLIDING DOWN THE HUMAN STAIR RAILING. (WHICH SADNESS STOPS.)

AT ANY RATE. RILEY ANDERSEN (OR ANDERSON. I DON'T CARE.) HAS TO INTRODUCE HERSELF AT THE HUMAN SCHOOL. AND BEGINS TALKING ABOUT HER LIFE IN THE OTHER AMERICAN PLACE. BUT THEN SADNESS MESSES SOME MORE. AND MAKES RILEY NOSTALGIC OF THE PLACE. AND CREATING A SAD MEMORY.

BUT "SADLY." (GET IT?) THAT IS A CORE MEMORY. AND WILL KIND OF BE A BIG PART OF RILEY'S LIFE. AND JOY DOESN'T WANT THIS. SO SHE FUCKING FIGHTS SADNESS. AND RILEY ENDS UP LOSING ALL OF HER CORE MEMORIES. AND BOTH JOY, SADNESS AND THE CORE MEMORIES. END UP AT THE LONG-TERM MEMORY STORAGE.

BOTH JOY AND SADNESS RESOLVE TO GET BACK TO THEIR HEADQUARTERS TO CONTINUE TORMENTING RILEY. BUT THE DAMAGE HAS ALREADY BEEN DONE. SINCE ANGER, FEAR AND DISGUST ARE JUST THAT. THEY MAKE RILEY REALLY SNAPPY. AND AWESOME. AND SHE FINALLY GETS BACK AT THE HUMAN PARENTS. WHO GET HER TO GO TO HER ROOM.

MEANWHILE IN HER MIND. THE BIG PARTS OF HER LIFE SUCH AS SOME SPORT, HONESTY AND BEING A STUPID LITTLE SHIT ARE FALLING APART. AND PUTTING JOY AND SADNESS INTO MORE TROUBLE. NOT WANTING TO BE LEFT FOREVER TO BE FORGOTTEN. THEY RECRUIT RILEY'S SO-CALLED "IMAGINARY FRIEND." CALLED. WAIT FOR IT. "BING BONG." WHO HAS A ROCKET SLED. AND CAN BRING THEM BACK ON TIME. BUT THEY CAN'T FIND IT IN THE IMAGINATION FUNFAIR. SO THEY TRY SOMETHING ELSE.

THEY DECIDE TO DRIVE THE TRAIN OF THOUGHTS TO THE HEADQUARTERS. (HOW ABOUT I DRIVE MY TRAIN OF THOUGHTS TO ANOTHER PIECE OF HUMAN FICTION THAT IS BETTER THAN THIS ONE. OR EVEN BETTER. A PIECE OF CHERUB FICTION. AND MAKE YOU EAT YOUR HEART OUT.) BUT THEN IT STOPS. AS RILEY GOES TO SLEEP. AND SINCE HUMANS DO THIS DREAMING THING WHILE THEY SLEEP. AND SINCE THOSE DREAMS DO NOT INVOLVE BEING ON PROSPIT OR DERSE. THEY ARE PRODUCED IN RILEY'S MIND. AT "DREAM PRODUCTIONS." (I AM SO GOING TO SUE THEM.)

AT DREAM PRODUCTIONS. JOY AND SADNESS THUS INTERRUPT A DREAM. ALMOST WAKING RILEY UP. BUT ALSO BEING IMPRISONED IN THE SUBCONSCIOUS. (AS THIS STORY WILL BE. ONCE I AM DONE WITH IT AND MOVE ON.) WHERE RILEY'S BIGGEST FEARS SUCH AS BROCOLLI AND CLOWNS RESIDE. AND WHEN THEY RESCUE A CLOWN. THE CLOWN REALLY SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF RILEY. WAKING HER UP.

HOWEVER, AT THE HEADQUARTERS. ANGER HAS ANOTHER IDEA. HE DECIDES TO GET SOME HAPPY MEMORIES BY MAKING RILEY GO BACK TO MINNESOTA. WHERE SHE WILL HOPEFULLY FREEZE AND DIE. THUS, HE TAKES AN IDEA. WHICH FOR SOME REASON TAKES THE FORM OF A LIGHT BULB. AND PLUGS IT IN. LITERALLY GIVING RILEY THE IDEA. SHE STEALS THE CREDIT CARD. OF HER HUMAN MOTHER. AND THAT MAKES HER TRUST COLLAPSE.

THAT EXPOSES YET ANOTHER WAY FOR OUR HOPEFUL HEROES TO GET BACK AND RESOLVE THIS MESS. BUT ONCE THEY JUMP INTO A RECALL TUBE. JOY AND BING BONG END UP BEING DROPPED DOWN TO THE ABYSS. TO BE FORGOTTEN FOREVER. ALONG WITH THE ROCKET SLED.

BUT THEY THEN REALIZE THAT THE ROCKET SLED IS A VEHICLE. WHICH IS POWERED BY HUMAN SONG. (I WISH I WAS MAKING THIS UP. BUT NO. I AM MADE UP. AS THIS BITCH RIGHT NEXT TO ME IS TELLING ME. ALSO, IS IT JUST ME OR DOES THE BITCH RIGHT NEXT TO ME LOOK SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE JOY?) SO THEY GO ON IT. BUT THE SONG ITSELF IS NOT ENOUGH TO GET OUT OF THE CLIFF. SO INSTEAD. BING BONG PUSHES HIMSELF THROUGH. AND ENDS UP FALLING. WHILE JOY IS RESCUED. AND CONTINUES ON THE MISSION. TO RESCUE RILEY FROM THE MISERY OF FREEZING TO DEATH. AND RESTORING HER CORE MEMORIES.

IN THE MEANTIME. SADNESS HAS BECOME SUICIDAL. SINCE SHE IS JOY'S WORST ENEMY. AND JOY IS RILEY'S HEAD EMOTION. BUT THEN JOY REALIZED THAT SHE SECRETLY LOVES HER. AND THUS SHE USES A WHOLE BUNCH OF RILEY'S IMAGINARY BOYFRIENDS. (WHICH ARE BOUND TO BE JUST THAT. IMAGINARY.) TO TRAMPOLINE HERSELF ACROSS. CATCH SADNESS. AND SPLAT LIKE A HUMAN FLY AT THE WINDOW OF THE HEADQUARTERS. AND DISGUST AND ANGER FINALLY RESCUE THEM. BY BURNING THE WINDOW.

AND JUST IN TIME. SINCE RILEY HAS LOST ALL PURPOSE IN LIFE AND ALL EMOTION. AND IS ABOUT TO RUN AWAY FROM THIS MISERABLE WORLD. BUT SADNESS MAKES HER SAD ABOUT HER FAMILY. AND SHE THUS RETURNS. AND SINCE JOY AND SADNESS WORKED TOGETHER WAY TOO MANY TIMES. (THEY DIDN'T.) THEY FINALLY CREATE THEIR LOVECHILD. A MEMORY THAT IS BOTH HAPPY AND SAD. LIKE A PARADOX OF SHIT.

AND THUS. RILEY MOVES ON BEYOND THAT. WITH A FUCKING RAINBOW OF EMOTIONS. AND A LIFE THAT IS SURE TO BE HAPPY. WHICH I HATE. AS I HATE THE STORY. AND AM GLAD THAT IT REACHED.

THE END.

OKAY, HERE'S THE DEAL. THERE IS WAY TOO MUCH HUMAN FICTION TO DEAL WITH ALL THE TIME. AND YOUR SUGGESTIONS ALL SUCK. SO I WILL CONTINUE TO CHOOSE WHAT I HATE THE MOST MYSELF. EVEN IF THAT MEANS LONG HIATUSES LIKE THIS. THEREFORE, IT IS.

FAREWELL. BITCHES AND ASSHOLES.

tumut


	2. Superiority

"tumut" Caliborn typed on the console of the Headquarters, while being observed by the lead emotion in whoever's mind this was. This emotion indeed looked like Joy, but had longer blue hair and a longer dress, and she no longer went by that name. _Creativity,_ Caliborn realized and spoke to her. "SO, CREATIVITY. HOW DID YOU LIKE MY ADDITION TO YOUR DOSSIER?"

"It was incredible!" Creativity threw up her arms in the air, before getting ready to save the idea to publish the story. "And it will be what, fifty-second on my Internet list?"

"Fifty-third." Creativity's friend and another emotion, Logic, responded. While he still had the purple skin, he was much more well-adjusted and didn't irrationally... _fear_. The word itself was illogical to Logic, as there were only facts and conclusions to be made from them. "One of Caliborn's stories was removed."

"Caliborn's Stories, with a capital S." Coolness chimed in. She looked the most different from her past counterpart, Disgust, as she was wearing sunglasses and had long abandoned her dark green dress for a purple one. "Remember this, so that I would have a part in this creation as well."

"It is sad that you're leaving us, though." Sadness had changed the least of the emotions. She didn't even have a nickname that she used; though, Creativity had occasionally referred to her as Writer's Block, as whenever she was around, the star-shaped yellow-skinned emotion was at a loss for words.

"I liked your style. You reminded me a lot of myself." Irritation, formerly Anger, glanced at Caliborn, then at the newspaper with the headline "Steven Universe Fanfic Review #4: Fighting History, by Square Mom Lover". She wasn't going to leave a single typo behind, even though the blog post had already been published.

"ARRIVEDERCI, EMOTIONS." Caliborn said as he took the step to the tube in the center of Headquarters, before being sucked away from the sight of the five observers, likely to be lost for months on end.

While looking at him, though, Creativity noticed five more observers. These five were the original emotions that controlled the subject, and despite them having a dynamic similar to that of the newer five, looked down upon them. They didn't even speak English (despite understanding it), and they therefore had the Lithuanian names: Laimė, Nelaimė, Bjaurastis, Pyktis and Baisulys. Creativity and co. had no trouble understanding them, though, since both sets had years of practice at bilingual dialogues.

Creativity thus shivered at the sight of these five and the thought of speaking Lithuanian, before returning to the box of lightbulbs she had placed besides the panel, getting ready to impress her four friends with a new chapter of-

She glanced at one of the ideas, which only read "Write about Ourselves". She thought back to whatever else she was meaning to write and how it was so _boring_ compared to this new world. She plugged the idea in, murmuring something along the lines of:

"We're so much better than Riley's emotions anyway."


End file.
